John Woo has jumped the shark on a CGI jetski and I'm pretty upset

[this post originally appeared in my FROTH newsletter. You can subscribe here and I will love you almost forever, time depending]

I fell in love with John Woo in my teens, at a time when I wanted to be either him, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Steven Soderbergh, Woody Allen (it was a (slightly) different time) or anyone who had some great movies and a related Faber & Faber paperback book detailing their process.

During a semester abroad at Ball State University in Muncie Indiana (reader, I am a travelled man) I took a film class and wrote an essay on John Woo's The Killer and the 'heroic bloodshed' genre of Hong Kong cinema and duly scored a top grade. How I wish I could find the 3.5inch floppy disk containing that undoubted literary masterpiece now. And then find some way of accessing it. And then send it to Faber & Faber.

When I heard that John Woo had directed a new modern-day action thriller in his native country, teenage me frothed (tied in the title in the first episode. You're welcome). Since he left Hollywood in the mid-to-late 2000s I'd slightly lost touch with the great man and while his Red Cliff opus was well-received it didn't resonate with me in the same way as his non-historical work (to the extent that I still haven't actually seen it....)

Manhunt was set to be a return to his roots. Twin guns, copious slo-mo, unrestrained doves. The Holy Trinity Of Woo. The things that hooked me in way back when. The things he did on our first date that made my pupils dilate and think, "oh boy this could be something special I'm definitely 'working from home' tomorrow".

I suspect you can see where this is headed. Admitedly the title of this section hints at the vibe. Manhunt is not just disappointing. It's bad. It's a mess. It's..... horror of horrors.... boring. I genuinely paused it at one point (it's on Netflix, FYI, should you be some kind of intrigued masochist) and, discovering there was still 45 minutes to go, sighed.

In short, and without spoilers (what's the opposite of a spoiler? Like something that saves you 2 hours of your life. I'm doing that), the plot is ridiculous, the characters are cartoonish (Chinese cinema traditions notwithstanding), the actors are made to speak English when they clearly can't (presumably to broaden its international appeal!? "I like it when good actors are forced to sound like GCSE language students!"), there's CGI gunfire, CGI blood, shonky CGI stunts and... sweet Moses hold back the tide... CGI FUCKING DOVES. I can't even.

There are occasional glimpses of greatness, but they are fleeting and often served with a side dish of ham-fistedness. It made me concerned about going back to watch the Woo classics. Face/Off is 20 years old for the love of Cage. A Better Tomorrow is over 30 YEARS OLD. What a delightful and unexpected reminder of our own mortality.

Am I asking too much? Is this like going back to an old lover and expecting it to be the same after you've both grown so much and tastes have evolved and now you're banging John Wick? Am I pining for a gone-by era? Actually I don't think so. If anything the arrival of the Wicks et al has proved there is still an appetite for well-made action flicks grounded in physical effects and likeable protagonists.

My only hope is that this is just a minor blip as 72-years-young J-Dubs settles back into his groove, realises he doesn't need the blue pill of green screen and reconnects with his now-grown-up-but-not-necessarily-matured fans of yore. Just so long as that oft-mooted, never-booted US remake of The Killer never happens I think his legacy is safe...

Kill me. Kill me now.